hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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