sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
