I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
