Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
