just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
