Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
