party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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