we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Are my feet made of real feet?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
