In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
