there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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