you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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