Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
