I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
