when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
