Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
