Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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