Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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