when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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