Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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