i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
