Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
