my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
