Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
