Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I need water and some morals
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
