Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
