Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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