everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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