so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
