whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
