so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
