why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
