Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
