A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
