I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
