i jhust puked up my retainher.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
