I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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