i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
