nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
