census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
