office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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