I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
