After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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