i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
