Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
