whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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