i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
