I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
