youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
