No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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