im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
