3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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